Justice & Peace

I'll never know what it means to be a Black man in America.

I can sympathize, empathize, and encourage, but I will never know for sure what it's like to be in their shoes.  Sure, I face my share of racism, prejudice, and injustice as a Black woman, but I think my plight is incomparable to that of my African-American brothas.

As a single, Evangelical Christian, natural-haired Black woman with a post-graduate education, I know my own set of statistics and stereotypes.  That I'm militant & no-nonsense.  That I'm uppity.  That I'm too independent.  That I have ridiculously high standards.  That I'm bound to never get married.  And that by chance, if I do end up in a relationship with a Black man, I will end up with a spouse that will cheat, beat, or leave me.

While none of these stereotypes and odds seem favorable, they don't stir-up fear in my counterparts of other races.  Others may pity or "put-up" with me...but they will never fear me.

The other day, I went hiking on a nearby nature trail in my predominately White suburb.  Temperatures had dropped, so I left the house unprepared with only my hood to keep me warm (and it's the only thing that would fit over my twist-out).  As I encountered White faces along the trail, everyone was smiling & friendly.  But I couldn't help but wonder, would I have been treated differently if I were a Black man?

On Monday, many of my African-American students (and I, myself) wore hoodies in Trayvon Martin's honor.  The school policy is that students cannot wear hoods on their heads in the building...but on this day I chose to look away.  A group of students were standing outside my room before school started donning hoods and carrying ice tea and skittles.

One young man, whose father is Black & mother is White, made a noteworthy lament: "Man, I can't do ANYTHING now!  It was bad enough that I can't walk around with my hands in my pockets.  Now I can't wear a hoodie either (without being thought of as suspicious)!"

I didn't say anything, but remembered the conversations my parents would have with me as a child about keeping my hands out of my pockets in any & all stores because they didn't want anyone to accuse me of stealing.  It just didn't "look right," they would say.

It's odd the things that bring out fear and hatred.  It could be a hood or hands in pockets.  It could be a hijab or kufi.  It could be a rainbow flag or bumper sticker.

While I do not know what it's like to be feared so much or to have so much hate toward another, I do know what it's like to receive mercy and see justice.  May God's love, grace, and mercy be upon the Martin family.  May God's love, grace, and mercy be upon the Alawadi family.  May justice be rightly served on their behalf and most importantly, may their be peace.

Ecosystems

The other day, my good friend Jay & I enjoyed our new favorite show, New Girl, via hulu.  Jay & I have been watching tv together since our undergraduate student teacher days.  Initially, we claimed we were getting together to grade papers, but really I think we just wanted some sanity & adult interaction during a very new and trying part of our lives.  We now live in separate states, so we watch shows online and text each other during an episode, as though we were sitting right next to each other.

Anyway, we watched the latest episode of New Girl, titled "Control."  In this particular episode, Jess (who is a teacher, yay!) tries to loosen up one of her Type-A, OCD-ish roommates, Schmidt.  The other roommates warn her not to because she will ruin the apartment ecosystem, as Schmidt is the one who does all the cooking and cleaning.  Long story short, Jess does loosen Schmidt up, to the point where he abandons all apartment responsibilities and the "ecosystem" is a hot mess.

I was thinking about this concept of ecosystems today as I went for a hike at a nearby nature preserve/trail. It has been unusually hot this March (75 degrees...are you serious???), and nature is rightly responding to the temperatures.  During my walk I saw signs of life all over--small buds on trees, tiny green shoots emerging out of brown grass, enormous squirrels coming out of hibernation.

I also took a minute to stop by the river that goes throughout the trail.  I noticed how everything works together.  The tree roots need the water, the animals need the foliage growing nearby, the water carries necessary items to and fro...and suddenly this song came to mind:

All Things Are Working -- Fred Hammond & RFC

Immediately, I turned to this song on my iPod & began to quietly worship.  Just as God works everything out in nature, surely He always has & will continue to work everything out in my life.  He is the director of my ecosystem, keeping everything in divine order.

And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose. ~ Romans 8:28

Shedding Season

When I was a child, my mom used to take me to this kiddie salon to get my hair pressed by a woman named Ms. Regina.  I liked Ms. Regina a lot.  She knew how to get my kinky hair bone straight, and, unlike my mother, she didn't slip the hot comb and accidentally burn my ear or neck in the process.

Every once in awhile, she'd notice that my hair was coming out, but would assure me with these words--"It's ok; it's shedding season."

I thought about those words, "shedding season," the other day when looking at the flowers on my balcony.  About 3-4 weeks ago, I looked out my window & noticed that NO flowers were growing, which shocked me.  I saw this:

Most of the flowers had died & dried up on the stems

I decided at that time that I needed to prune my little plants, so that (without getting too scientific) new growth could form.  I pulled off all the dead flowers & hoped for the best.  Several weeks went by & nothing happened.  Then, the other day when I came back from my FABULOUS vacation to West Michigan, I looked out and saw the following:

New life formed!

Forward movement has been on my mind a lot lately...frankly, all year.  The verse that I decided to "claim" for 2011 has been Deut. 2:3, "You have skirted this mountain long enough; turn northward."  I have been declaring that I would move "northward" in all areas of my life, no matter the cost.

Honestly, moving forward can be a bit painful.  It's easy to get comfortable where you are or to hold on to unnecessary items.  But, what I am learning, is that God can't bless you with something new if you're still holding on to the old.  It's shedding season, y'all.

Stay encouraged.

A Time to Rest, pt. I

In Ecclesiastes 3, we read that everything has its season.  This summer I have been struggling through a season of rest, and plan on doing a few blogs about the things I am learning.  This post is part one of many.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Many of my good friends know that I have an, ahem, affinity for cleaning.  It is not uncommon for me to say in the middle of a phone call, "Ay, can I put you on speakerphone right quick?  I'm trying to clean this toilet/clean this fishbowl/dismantle and wipe down this refrigerator/dismantle and wipe down this washing machine."

Some might call me OCD, but I think I clean a lot because it gives me something to do, as well as a sense of satisfaction.  When I was a kid, my mom would compile a long list of things that needed to be cleaned by the end of the summer.  The list ranged from washing blinds to scrubbing tiles on my hands and knees with a small brush.  I always hated pulling weeds, yet every year it'd be on the list.  There was a colony of wasps in the backyard that always lurked around me when I'd pull weeds in the hot sun and make me nervous.  Anyway, every week, she'd choose an area for me to focus on.  By the end of the summer, it was all done.  I swore that once I "grew up," I'd never spend my summers cleaning.

Well, here I am all grown up...and what have I done every summer since I've moved out of my parents' house?  That's right, made a 2 page list of things to clean and proudly completed it by the end of the summer.  This summer, before I even sat down to make my list, I started things off right by giving my refrigerator a thorough cleaning.  Man, there's nothing like taking apart a fridge, cleaning every inch, and putting it together again.  Seriously.

Anyway, shortly after that, I went on vacation with my parents and my paternal side of the family.  When I returned, I got ready to make my list of things to clean (especially since I just discovered "stickies" on my mac), as well as a list of tests/notes/videos to make for next school year.  Suddenly, the Holy Spirit challenged me and I heard a resounding, "NO! Just rest," in my spirit.  I was troubled because there was so much I wanted to DO this summer.  I am a task-oriented person and I just find so much joy in doing.

Instead, I did what I felt instructed to do, to rest.  And I have tried really hard to continue to do that.  At the beginning of this month I would get up, eat, read, catch up on past episodes of SYTYCD, and take a nap.  And even now, as I am doing a brief stint teaching summer school, I am challenging myself not to overplan (which I usually do) and to take things one day at a time.  It's hard to give up control, but I find myself at a greater peace and actually enjoying life.

As I was sharing at worship practice the other day (yes, some kind of way I'm on the worship team at church...I play the violin...that's a whole 'nother story), I'm learning that rest is not passive.  It is active.  As I choose to rest, I allow myself to be filled.  And as I am filled, I will be able to pour out and serve others from the overflow.  The days of striving are over.  Pray for me as I choose to rest.

Stay encouraged.