In Ecclesiastes 3, we read that everything has its season. This summer I have been struggling through a season of rest, and plan on doing a few blogs about the things I am learning. This post is part one of many.
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Many of my good friends know that I have an, ahem, affinity for cleaning. It is not uncommon for me to say in the middle of a phone call, "Ay, can I put you on speakerphone right quick? I'm trying to clean this toilet/clean this fishbowl/dismantle and wipe down this refrigerator/dismantle and wipe down this washing machine."
Some might call me OCD, but I think I clean a lot because it gives me something to do, as well as a sense of satisfaction. When I was a kid, my mom would compile a long list of things that needed to be cleaned by the end of the summer. The list ranged from washing blinds to scrubbing tiles on my hands and knees with a small brush. I always hated pulling weeds, yet every year it'd be on the list. There was a colony of wasps in the backyard that always lurked around me when I'd pull weeds in the hot sun and make me nervous. Anyway, every week, she'd choose an area for me to focus on. By the end of the summer, it was all done. I swore that once I "grew up," I'd never spend my summers cleaning.
Well, here I am all grown up...and what have I done every summer since I've moved out of my parents' house? That's right, made a 2 page list of things to clean and proudly completed it by the end of the summer. This summer, before I even sat down to make my list, I started things off right by giving my refrigerator a thorough cleaning. Man, there's nothing like taking apart a fridge, cleaning every inch, and putting it together again. Seriously.
Anyway, shortly after that, I went on vacation with my parents and my paternal side of the family. When I returned, I got ready to make my list of things to clean (especially since I just discovered "stickies" on my mac), as well as a list of tests/notes/videos to make for next school year. Suddenly, the Holy Spirit challenged me and I heard a resounding, "NO! Just rest," in my spirit. I was troubled because there was so much I wanted to DO this summer. I am a task-oriented person and I just find so much joy in doing.
Instead, I did what I felt instructed to do, to rest. And I have tried really hard to continue to do that. At the beginning of this month I would get up, eat, read, catch up on past episodes of SYTYCD, and take a nap. And even now, as I am doing a brief stint teaching summer school, I am challenging myself not to overplan (which I usually do) and to take things one day at a time. It's hard to give up control, but I find myself at a greater peace and actually enjoying life.
As I was sharing at worship practice the other day (yes, some kind of way I'm on the worship team at church...I play the violin...that's a whole 'nother story), I'm learning that rest is not passive. It is active. As I choose to rest, I allow myself to be filled. And as I am filled, I will be able to pour out and serve others from the overflow. The days of striving are over. Pray for me as I choose to rest.
Stay encouraged.
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